They're Everywhere!

Anyone who follows me on Facebook (you bunch of creepers) knows that a few weeks ago I had the very unfortunate experience of reading the opinion column in the Daily Universe (BYU newspaper). The columnists had decided to write in response to the New York gay marriage law going through. I'll post it here, not to get all riled up again (that may or may not be another post for another day), but for context for anyone that has no idea what I'm talking about:http://universe.byu.edu/index.php/2011/06/27/that-is-not-a-family/

It really upset me. For one, it just showed ignorance and narrow mindedness. Also because the next day they only posted letters to the editor that agreed with her, leaving me feeling that all those opposed were not given the chance to make it manifest. I just didn't like that so many are quick to try and put their opinions on others. I knew that in the past my reaction would have been very different. I would have been scared, seeing the the article as the opinion of all BYU students and equating it to saying I was a bad person. I'll admit this would have only been made easier due to my ridiculously low self esteem at the time and the already deeply held belief that if I were to admit the truth (being a lesbian) to anyone, they would get the torches and pitchforks and run me out of Provo. (thoughts may have been exaggerated to illustrate the depth of my fear and self hatred). Now I know better, about both myself and the people around me. However, I'm sure that there are others who are at the stage in their process that I once was, and I worried.

I got the idea in my head that if I went and talked with her in person that she might gain some understanding, even if it was only the slightest bit more than she had before. Well, it did not go down the way I had hoped at all. A few minutes into it I could already tell that she was not the least bit interested in understanding or listening to anything I had to say. Luckily, my roommate (who later wrote a kick ass response to the article) came with me and stopped it before it got worse.

Before this sounds like I'm just ranting, I'll bring in my actual point of this post. My whole life the idea of loving people and acting on that has come so easy to me. My experience with being lesbian and learning to accept and love myself for everything I am has opened my mind and heart even more, which I am so grateful for. Sometimes it's hard for me to really understand why people wouldn't want to try and understand or love one another. Then I remember that other people don't actually think the same way I do, or have not been through things in their lives that might force them to really take a look at something outside their own bubbles. This really brought me down for a while. It was this reminder that no matter how much I accept myself and others, there will always be people who won't.

That being said I would like to tell you that there will always be people who will accept you and love you for everything you are. A friend once told me that even if they don't understand, if they love you they will try. This past week or so events have brought to my attention, not just all the people who currently are in my life and making it wonderful, but also the people who have been or have yet to be but are willing to step up and help me through anything. I am very fortunate to have these people who love and support me. It has taken me a long time to find them, but I am constantly reminded that these kind of people are all around. Look for them, you might be surprised by people sometimes.

~Bridey J