This weekend I had the amazing opportunity to attend the Mormon Stories conference "Circling the Wagons". Now that I am at home I find myself so emotionally and physically drained, but not in a bad way. In the same way that you feel so tired after exercising, climbing a mountain, or just having a conversation with a burning bush. It feels so good.
For most people it started on Friday afternoon, but for me and some good friends of mine it wasThursday night. One of the keynote speakers of this weekend's conference was LDS author Carol Lynn Pearson. I had just started reading her book "Goodbye, I Love You" about her life married to her homosexual husband. It's a heart breaking story, but so full of love and has been a real significant event in many of my friend's journeys. So I did something that I still feel was very out of the ordinary for me. I simply sent her an email asking if she would come and speak to a bunch of gay Mormon kids at BYU about...anything, really. I just knew that she was someone in the church who started facing this issue way before some of us were even born. Lately, my friends and I have been talking about how what we are doing is new, and there is no more map to follow, and that is scary as hell. So I thought hearing from someone who helped lay the first few bricks of the path might be helpful and encouraging. She quickly agreed and we were just absolutely thrilled. I think what surprised me the most is that I had done something. I'm finding a whole new part of myself that is opening new and exciting doors in my life. So Thursday night Carol Lynn used us as a sort dress rehearsal to practice her keynote speech. She talked to us about how each of us are going through what Joseph Campbell called "the Hero's journey".
(see below in Saturday's section to hear it)
We are each chosen for this "quest" of sorts, weather we wanted it or not, and if we make it through we can bring back some sort of "elixir" to the people we left behind. I've had a friend say that God is sending a lot of gay children to the earth right now, and we don't know why. In the bible there is a story of a man blind from birth and everyone is convinced he is this way because either he or his parents are sinners. But Christ says he is this way so that the works of God can be done through him. I think through us, the gay children, the world (and the church) will learn of a deeper level of loving one another.
Friday was quite a roller coaster of emotions as well. It was a small panel consisting of Carol Lynn Pearson (awesome lady) and Bill Bradshaw (a retired BYU professor with a gay son). It was a open Q&A about what ever we felt like we needed to talk about. Although many people asked some great questions, the one that seemed to grab everyone's focus was from a mother whose teenage son had just come out to her, but after a few hours of mowing the lawn took it all back. Everyone had some really good and supportive things to say to her. We have all been where either she or her son are and this was the community that she needed to find.
I saw my friends touched by the spirit this weekend, which in turn touched me. Many people within the church may not understand how a bunch of gay people can come together and feel the spirit if what we are is said to be wrong and evil. But I know that these are some of the better people I know. The people I met at this conference were amazing. At the end of the Saturday session I got to be part of the "testimony" meeting. I have been so scared for a while because I just keep thinking that we're just a small group of kids, what can we do to change things. But when I looked behind me that morning and saw close to 300 people in the room things felt different. So many people are supportive of the work we're doing at BYU and they want to do anything they can to help. It's not just me, or a small group of my friends. I'm part of a bigger community of Gay Mormons who are starting to change things. What this weekend did for me was truly fill me with hope and I left knowing I am not alone, and things ARE getting better.
With much love...
~Bridey J
We are each chosen for this "quest" of sorts, weather we wanted it or not, and if we make it through we can bring back some sort of "elixir" to the people we left behind. I've had a friend say that God is sending a lot of gay children to the earth right now, and we don't know why. In the bible there is a story of a man blind from birth and everyone is convinced he is this way because either he or his parents are sinners. But Christ says he is this way so that the works of God can be done through him. I think through us, the gay children, the world (and the church) will learn of a deeper level of loving one another.
Friday was quite a roller coaster of emotions as well. It was a small panel consisting of Carol Lynn Pearson (awesome lady) and Bill Bradshaw (a retired BYU professor with a gay son). It was a open Q&A about what ever we felt like we needed to talk about. Although many people asked some great questions, the one that seemed to grab everyone's focus was from a mother whose teenage son had just come out to her, but after a few hours of mowing the lawn took it all back. Everyone had some really good and supportive things to say to her. We have all been where either she or her son are and this was the community that she needed to find.
[audio recording will be posted here when it becomes available]
It was quite amazing. We took a raise-of-hands poll somewhere in the middle of the meeting and about 2/3 of the group was LGBTQ and 1/3 were strait allies. Carol Lynn herself announced to everyone about USGA and the kids down at BYU that were changing things and I even got to speak a little bit. So many people came up after words and just wanted to talk to us about everything we were doing. I guess I had never really thought before how much of an impact our little group was making on people outside of the BYU bubble.
Saturday was quite epic. We walked into a Baptist church building that was so beautiful and so peaceful. It had giant stained glass windows and a ceiling so high...oh I wish more LDS church buildings felt more like a place of worship like this. When we got there we slid in to the back row, which was really not all that far from the front. The audience was much larger than I had expected and it made me happy. It was a beautiful meeting. There was a choir and lovely talks by Joseph Broom, Lee Beckstead, and Carol Lynn Pearson.
(Video of Saturday's meeting: Joseph @ 27sec, Lee @ 13min, Carol Lynn @ 39min)
When the meeting was done we stood up and I looked behind me. When the meeting started we had been on the back row. Now there were over a hundred more people sitting in the rows behind us. It was amazing.
There were little break out sessions and I went to one about Lesbians. I honestly don't think I've been in a room with that many lesbians before, and it felt awesome. I was not alone. I mean, it's great that most of my friends are either gay men or straight women, but I need me some lesbians now and then. We talked about the idea of just being authentic and loving it. Most of us have found that when we finally accepted ourselves as lesbians and were honest about who we are and what we're going through, that is when we found a deeper love and spiritual meaning to everything. It's when joy started coming back into our lives.
It was quite amazing. We took a raise-of-hands poll somewhere in the middle of the meeting and about 2/3 of the group was LGBTQ and 1/3 were strait allies. Carol Lynn herself announced to everyone about USGA and the kids down at BYU that were changing things and I even got to speak a little bit. So many people came up after words and just wanted to talk to us about everything we were doing. I guess I had never really thought before how much of an impact our little group was making on people outside of the BYU bubble.
Saturday was quite epic. We walked into a Baptist church building that was so beautiful and so peaceful. It had giant stained glass windows and a ceiling so high...oh I wish more LDS church buildings felt more like a place of worship like this. When we got there we slid in to the back row, which was really not all that far from the front. The audience was much larger than I had expected and it made me happy. It was a beautiful meeting. There was a choir and lovely talks by Joseph Broom, Lee Beckstead, and Carol Lynn Pearson.
(Video of Saturday's meeting: Joseph @ 27sec, Lee @ 13min, Carol Lynn @ 39min)
When the meeting was done we stood up and I looked behind me. When the meeting started we had been on the back row. Now there were over a hundred more people sitting in the rows behind us. It was amazing.
There were little break out sessions and I went to one about Lesbians. I honestly don't think I've been in a room with that many lesbians before, and it felt awesome. I was not alone. I mean, it's great that most of my friends are either gay men or straight women, but I need me some lesbians now and then. We talked about the idea of just being authentic and loving it. Most of us have found that when we finally accepted ourselves as lesbians and were honest about who we are and what we're going through, that is when we found a deeper love and spiritual meaning to everything. It's when joy started coming back into our lives.
- Q&A Panel: Affirmation, Family Fellowship, and North Star
- To Be or not to Be: The Power of Authenticity as a Mormon Lesbian
- A Father’s Journey Toward Understanding Homosexuality
- What Helps (and Hurts) in Resolving Sexual, Religious, and Social Conflicts
- A National Perspective on the Church and LBGTQ Issues
- It HAS Gotten Better: An Overview of LGBTQ History in Utah over the Past 30 Years
The rest of the conference followed suit in amazingness, so I'll just post the links and let you listen...
[audio/video recording will be posted here when it becomes available]
Sunday we had a little service together in a much smaller chapel. It was sort of structured like an LDS meeting, but not at the same time. Bishop Kevin Kloosterman, from the Chicago area, gave a talk that he's been getting a lot of slack for in the press. I thought it was beautiful though.
My favorite part was when Julia Hunter played her violin for us. Oh that absolutely made my heart melt. She kinda of did it a bit impromptu which made even more spectacular. I don't think she planned on playing a bunch of hymns, but I'm glad she did. I always sing to them in my head when the music is playing. The second song she played was a medley of hymns and the last song was "I'm Trying to be Like Jesus". The words of the chorus sounded loudly in my thoughts as her fingers let the music ring out... Love one another, as Jesus loves you. Try and show kindness in all that you do. Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought, for these are the things Jesus taught... sometimes I think that we often forget the simple truths that we learn in primary. We look beyond the mark and become blind. Love is all we ask for, and I will do all I can to love others and become more like Christ.
With much love...
~Bridey J
Keep fighting the good fight, Bridey. God is looking down on the efforts being done in BYU with great gladness.
ReplyDeleteGo get 'em, Bridey! Sorry I missed it. Thursday night was incredible.
ReplyDeleteSounds awesome! Way to go for asking Carol Lynn Pearson to come! You rock. :-)
ReplyDelete