Moments of Impact

I'm so sorry for such a long time between posts.  School has got me finding probability density functions and regression equations from the moment I get up to when I finally crash somewhere in the wee hours of the morning.  Things are slowing down a bit so I'll start writing more regularly again.

I recently went and saw the movie The Vow staring Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams. It's about a married couple that are deeply in love. They get in a car wreck and she flies through the windshield and she looses her memory up to before the time that she met him. She wakes up and has no idea who he is (I promise that this is nothing you couldn't figure out from watching the trailer, so I haven't spoiled anything).  The thing I found interesting was not only could she not remember who her husband was but she couldn't believe that she had become the person he had fallen in love with.  She couldn't understand why she had made the choices she did, how she ended up where she was, or even why she had become a vegetarian.

She was still the same person, but it was like she had gone back in time.  It was more than just missing memories, it was missing life.  Every day is filled with moments where choices are made.  Most of the time it seems that these are mundane, where one hour just runs into the next and you could "copy-paste" the week from the one before.  But the truth is it's those moments that make up who we are, no matter how unimportant they may seem.  You have a personality, which can be seen since the time you're born, that may dictate how you react to a situation.  However, every experience we live through, every choice we make, is added to the make up of who we are.  It becomes part of the driving force in our life that makes decisions.  It becomes part of the way we think and the things we want and the people we keep around us.

I've often heard the question posed "If you could take a pill that would make you straight, would you?"  My answer now, and forever more, will be no.  The things I've been through, including all the depression and stuff from having to deal with being gay, make me who I am.  I look at the world the way I do because of what I've been through.  If I were straight I wouldn't have had lived through all the same moments.  I wouldn't have the same relationship with my God the way I do.  I wouldn't have gotten to meet so many wonderful people.  I wouldn't have the same deep understanding of love and compassion that I've found on my journey.  There may have been some times where I didn't like that moment I was living through, but I wouldn't change any of them for the world.

~Bridey J.